I come from a family of four, two girls and two boys. My African family believes to pamper boys and women will be left to marry. It is for this reason I have always worked hard and am keen to pursue my goals. In the African context, I defy the odds that women are meant for the kitchen and raising kids. I believe women can do both. In 2020, I relocated to a new African country to stay with my family and raise my kids. I loved being a stay-at-home mom and taking care of my two kids aged six and two. Eventually I got bored being at home and the pursuant nature in me wanted to do something different.
When I applied for my Masters at the University of Reading, I got excited having received funding to cater for my school fees. The challenge would be my accommodation and upkeep. Knowing the daring character in me, I decided to grab this opportunity and let the good times roll, or so I thought.
I arrived in the UK for the September start of the academic year. The reality of being an international student hit earlier than expected. I started missing my children that I had left behind for lack of funding to bring them along. The reality on lack of funding for accommodation and upkeep also kept knocking on my door. While the initial plan was funding from family support, the lack of forex in my country led banks to sanction how much an individual can send outside the country with a monthly limit. In addition, the devaluation of the local currency kept affecting how much I would get with a decline almost every month.
Overcoming the challenge
Have you ever felt so lonely, overwhelmed and anxious about your student life, so much to the extent that you start to question whether you made the right decision? Or perhaps just missing your previous comfort zone? I learnt that travelling to a new country, experiencing the culture shock and navigating your new way of doing things is for the brave at heart. It takes courage and determination even when the going gets tougher.
To quickly adjust, I joined university support groups. I found a church for spiritual support as a Christian and subscribed to campus jobs to secure a part-time role as soon as I could. I applied for hardship funding from university and even though I did not get it, I kept my options open. I had received several rejection emails before finally getting that ‘we are pleased to hire you’ email. Eventually, I settled down with a role in hospitality and have been able to take care of my accommodation and upkeep. Sometimes I even have extra to spoil my children and pamper them with gifts.
To say I have had it easy would be a lie, I literally had to take one day at a time. I looked at the greater goal and found self-motivation to pursue that dream. I believe that the choices I made will benefit my children in future, even though they are the most affected now, having to stay without their mother for a while. If you come from a family like mine then you may understand and feel the additional pressure to succeed. We will try again and again until we succeed, amidst several rejections that sometimes make you question your abilities. To overcome it all, have the ‘I can do’ spirit and yes you will.
