Sometimes, you may find that how you feel changes rapidly and for no identifiable reason. For example, many people describe the experience of having a day when they feel fine and then suddenly finding their mood plunging downwards, as though an emotional trapdoor had been opened up beneath them. This is normal: it isn’t a nice experience, but it’s a common part of the grieving process.
There is no normal timetable for grief, and there is no way to force yourself to feel differently or move on more quickly. Nor are there set stages that you will inevitably go through. Try not to second guess or judge yourself for how you are feeling.
When considering this, be careful of ‘shoulds.’ Many students can find themselves having thoughts like “I should be able to manage this better.” Or “I should be crying more.” Or “I should have moved on by now.” There is no right or wrong way to experience grief and so there are no ‘shoulds.’
You aren’t weak because you are still feeling down months after the loss. Alternatively, if you aren’t crying and feeling horrendous all of the time, it doesn’t mean you didn’t care or that you’re not grieving properly. The experience you have just is.
Generally, if you can accept the process as it works for you, work with it, rather than trying to supress or force it and take care of yourself while you recover, then you will move through and gradually start to feel better. Eventually, you will reach a point where you will remember the person or thing you have lost, but you will nevertheless be ready to move on and live a fulfilled life.