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The power of respect, religion and communication in Black communities

DAZO

DAZO is a recent Aberystwyth University graduate with a BSc(Hons) in Biology, and a dynamic artist on the rise. Nigerian-born DAZO blends his scientific mind with his creative soul, using his native tongue to craft powerful messages of hope, struggle, and love.

Dazo explores the impact religion, family influence and gender roles have played in his approach to communication and respect.

Growing up in a traditional Nigerian Christian family, I was brought up with cultural values that emphasised respect for authority and reverence for elders. This upbringing involved strict adherence to certain societal norms, one of which was the unwavering command to “obey your elders.”

I often heard, “obey your elders,” and for me, this command was non-negotiable. Growing up, questioning or challenging someone older wasn’t just frowned upon; it was practically unthinkable. But I began to wonder, should age truly be the ultimate measure of wisdom, knowledge, or maturity?

I was taught to fear and not challenge authority simply based on age. “Obey your elders” was often enough reason to obey, even if it meant jumping into the metaphorical fire. But why?

Even the Bible emphasizes the importance of nurturing and respecting the young:

  • Ephesians 6:4 (KJV): "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

  • Colossians 3:21 (KJV): "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged."

I believe the essence of wisdom lies not just in age but in the willingness to listen and learn, regardless of who offers the advice. As Proverbs 2:15 puts it, "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice." My aunt once reminded me, after a disagreement with my younger cousin, that respect should be given to everyone, no matter their age.

I learned that respect is a two-way street. It’s crucial to treat everyone with dignity and consideration. When I respect others, I earn their respect in return. This mutual respect allows for effective communication and leadership. Surprisingly, this is a lesson I often learned indirectly from my parents and community.

While I was taught to remain silent and submissive, I discovered that overcoming these restrictions is possible. For me, breaking free from this feeling of entrapment involved finding creative outlets that allowed me to express myself without restraint. Journaling my thoughts and reflecting on my day became essential practices. Regular self-evaluation helped me track my progress and understand my growth. Life’s challenges may not come easy, but the most difficult struggles often yield the most rewarding outcomes. I asked myself regularly on my journey of self-improvement: How effective is my communication? How precise is my timing? Do I listen more than I speak? How do my words impact others?

The family home is the perfect training ground for developing these life skills. My attitude and behaviour at home often reflect how I interact with the outside world. I realized that children who learn respect at home are likely to carry that respect with them everywhere they go. Conversely, those who lack respect at home may struggle to show it elsewhere.

It's easy to focus on what others could do better, but I learned that true growth begins with self-reflection. Self-reflection helps me gain a deeper understanding of myself, enabling me to better appreciate my unique perspectives. By taking time to consider who I am, and what matters to me, and by celebrating my achievements, I can pinpoint actions that protect and enhance my well-being. As Matthew 7:5 reminds us, "First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." I learned to focus on what I can control—my reactions, my communication, and my behaviour.

I remember that everyone is an emotional being. Sometimes, the right words at the right time can make all the difference. To achieve effective communication and maintain my mental health, self-care is essential. Practices like meditation, exercise, and reflection help me stay grounded and resilient.

By fostering a culture of respect and open communication, I believe we can better support the mental health of Black students, helping us navigate life’s challenges with confidence and dignity.