Being trans at university is not always easy, and sometimes we end up in situations where the topic of trans people comes up – whether as a topic of discussion, or when we open up about our own experiences. This can be particularly tricky if staff at university or fellow students are not educated or aware of the experiences of trans people in general.
This can also be difficult when it’s affecting us directly, for example, people not using the right pronouns, names or terminology to refer to us.
The most important part to remember here is to protect your own well-being, and remember that other people’s views and opinions do not change who you are, or what your experiences are as a trans person.
It’s important to note that you do not have to be a spokesperson for trans people or trans rights, and you do not have to spend your time at university doing this. This might sometimes be difficult when, for example. you overhear conversation, or a lecturer says something offensive or inaccurate. But sometimes it’s worth picking your battles.
Advocating for yourself constantly can be very hard, and it might be helpful to reach out to the student wellbeing service at your university if you are struggling. Alternatively students can seek their student union’s advice. Your SU may be able to help you navigate issues and complaints independently from the university and its staff. Most universities will also have an LGBTQIA+ society, where there might be people who know where you can turn.
Use our directory to find services at your institution
Pronouns and names
Pronouns and names are important to all of us – it’s how we want to be referred to, as well as how we refer to other people. When trans people transition we generally tend to change one or both, and therefore ask the people around us to do so. This might not always be something that the people around us are good at getting right away – although most people will be able to do so with time.
At university this can be tricky, especially if your fellow students and teachers are misgendering you or deadnaming you. When this happens the best thing to do is to politely correct them and remind them of the correct pronoun or name. This can be incredibly frustrating and hurtful, and it’s important that this is acknowledged and that people understand the impact this can have on you. Explaining to them that you find it hurtful and disrespectful can help remind them of the importance of getting it right.
If this starts to happen consistently, especially if it is a lecturer or a member of staff, you should contact Student Support Services and ask them for help. You have a right to be respected at university as who you are, and lecturers and other staff have to respect who you are and how you would like to be referred to.
Difficult everyday conversations
Sometimes people around us will say things about trans people that are inaccurate, ignorant or even harmful. It can be difficult to be in a situation like that, and addressing it requires a lot of effort and can be incredibly stressful.
The most important thing for you is to protect your own well-being. Sometimes we feel strong and confident enough to address situations head-on, but doing so might require a lot of energy and effort, especially if people are not receptive to our corrections and perspectives.
Sometimes just saying one thing can change the dynamics of a situation, even if it is just a simple phrase. This could be something like: “I don’t agree with that” or “as a trans person I find what you said very offensive” or “that’s not actually true, where did you get that information?”.
Teachers and members of staff
If you become aware of a lecturer or a member of staff saying negative, inaccurate or even harmful things about trans people while at university or in class, this is something that needs to be reported to the relevant services, such as Student Support Services.
Access to gender neutral toilets
Access to toilets is something a lot of trans people worry about in general, so if you are feeling nervous or anxious about this topic, you are not alone. It is important to note that trans people do have a right to use facilities in line with their gender identity by law, and should be respected and supported to do so by the university and staff. However, we appreciate that this can still be nerve-wracking and that people might still fear harassment. If you are worried about this, it may be helpful to contact student well-being support, or your LGBTQIA+ society at university.
Most universities will have information available about where you can find gender-neutral/all gender toilet facilities – so first point of action would be to simply ask where you can find them and whether there is a document available that lists all available facilities. If it doesn’t exist, you can suggest such a document is made and perhaps work with your LGBTQIA+ student group to advocate for that.
