Not out yet but thinking of coming out soon? See a separate article with tips for you.
Tips for people early in their transition
This article outlines advice for trans and non-binary people who are early in their transition.
Tips for people planning on coming out soon
This article is made up of my own advice, collated from my own experiences being non-binary, along with over a decade of interacting with trans and non-binary folk, as well as charities and professionals that support and advocate for them. It also contains the advice and experiences of trans+ people that have gifted their voice to this article. By doing so I hope that a broad range of advice is presented and regardless of what your transition journey looks like, you can take something away from this.
This article will undoubtedly not cover everything that someone could experience, in the early stages of their transitions because everyone’s experiences are so unique, so remember to reach out for support wherever you can, and whenever you may need it.
1. It’s okay to not have everything figured out regarding your identity right away
It is okay not to have everything figured out regarding your identity right away. If you are unsure about what you want regarding transition—or if you even want to transition at all—there is no need to panic. There are plenty of resources online that will tell you all about being trans or non-binary. Some are from charities telling you how to look after your mental health, like Student Minds, others offering LGBTQ+ specific support, like Mermaids or Gendered Intelligence.
Another font of knowledge is people sharing their experiences of being trans or non-binary. On YouTube, people of varying following sizes have spoken about their whole trans journey, from when they first knew until the present. These are often honest funny reflections of their lives, all the good and bad, all the ups and downs and for a lot of people you’ll find yourself relating to some aspects of their experiences. Forums online are also a place where people share their experiences and can ask questions about being trans. Places like Reddit, have subreddits dedicated to being spaces for trans people to show solidarity to one another, and sharing tips and advice.
Off the internet, seek community with fellow trans people. You are not alone. We are everywhere. There are many of us who have finally achieved stability in our lives and we are eager to help you out if you look for us. You may even be a part of that person’s experience, so sometimes these discussions can be really informative. If you don’t know anyone who is trans or non-binary, LGBTQ+ societies or Student Networks, are groups on university campuses that offer support and a safe space for LGBTQ+ students. Here you’re likely to find trans and non-binary students that will be open to giving their advice - this is where so much of my advice came from- and you may even make lifelong LGBTQ+ friends that can support you during your transition.
When I was first questioning my gender identity I had been out as bisexual for many years, so I had been involved in the LGBTQ+ community for a while. I was surrounded by trans and non-binary people who were already transitioning and understood the trans experiences well. I worked and volunteered with LGBTQ+ young people, so again, the trans experience was something I was actively having discussions about with trans people and the professionals supporting them, so I became quite knowledgeable by osmosis.
2. Take all the time you need
The first point and this one go hand in hand. Transitioning takes time. No trans or non-binary person has ever begun and ended their transition in the blink of an eye. You can take all the time you need to decide what is right for you. There’s no rush to figure out your identity or transition as soon as possible.
The process of transitioning takes time. Deconstructing yourself* takes time. Hormones take time (this is in part a result of the long waiting lists). You should seek all the information and support you can for transitioning, and give yourself time to
properly digest it all and figure out what works and doesn’t work.
Transitioning is a long journey, but the hardest part is starting. You are going to be around for many years to come. Soon, you will look back on your early transition years and think "wow, I really made it, I'm me". Rest assured, no matter how long it takes, you will get there.
* "Deconstructing yourself" is the act of actively examining and questioning the societal constructs of gender that you've been assigned. This may often lead to a deeper understanding of your own gender identity in relation to the traditional binary categories. It often involves a process of challenging internalised transphobia and exploring where your gender feels most comfortable and affirming for you, be it a binary trans identity (trans man or woman) or a non-binary trans identity (non-binary, genderqueer).
3. Social transitioning
Before any medical transition, most people start by socially transitioning. This is a great way to explore your identity early on. Trying out different names and pronouns to see what works best for you is a great start. If you have supportive people in your life, then you can have honest conversations with them, and ask them to address you with your desired name and pronouns.
If you’re unable to ask anyone in your life to refer to you differently, you can do so in a safe space online. The site Pronoun Dressing Room and the subreddit r/TransTryouts are both great resources made for this purpose. You can also experiment with different ways of presenting yourself if it’s safe for you to do so. Haircuts, clothing, makeup, jewellery, etc. can be very euphoric and help you find out what you do and don’t like.
University is often a great place to socially transition. You are meeting new people for the first time who have never known you by any other name or pronouns, than the ones you decide to go by when you socially transition. If you feel comfortable doing so, you can ask your university to change your name on the systems to your preferred name, so that it will appear as that to staff and on any other places where you would see your name. For those living independently at university, you have the opportunity to potentially go months or even years living life as your preferred gender, giving you plenty of time and space to explore your identity.
4. Gender affirming products
Gender affirming products are great to help mitigate gender dysphoria. Binders, trans tape, packers, gaffs, bra pads, breast forms, shapewear, and more. It is important to research these products before use to ensure you use them correctly and safely, since incorrect usage can be damaging to the body for some on the list. When considering gender affirming products, while it is sometimes tempting to go for the cheapest product, in some cases poorer products can cause more issues in the long run. Instead consider saving up that little bit extra money to buy a higher quality product because they will likely be better crafted and support you better.
If your family is unsupportive but a friend is, you can ask them if you can send any gender affirming products you purchase to their address so your family will not see the package. If you do not have a bank account or your parents have access to yours, you can put the money on a gift card so that it will not show up on bank receipts. There are also ways to imitate some of the above list without buying the specific product. There are tutorials for how to layer sports bras to bind, using underwear bands and socks to create a gaff, using socks to create a packer, making bra and hip padding, etc. All of this can be very helpful if you can’t or don’t want to medically transition.
5. Hormone therapies or surgeries
If you decide you want to start gender affirming procedures such as HRT or surgery, it can be a lengthy process. Depending on where you live it can be difficult to access. Researching the requirements and resources available in your specific area will give you the best idea of the steps needed. For many, it starts by expressing to your doctor or other medical professional that you think you might be trans. They will have discussions with you about this and may encourage you to seek out a gender dysphoria diagnosis from themselves or a psychiatrist.
This diagnosis will be needed before you can be seen by an endocrinologist (hormone doctor) and then have hormones prescribed. Once you start hormones it's important to arrange regular blood tests with your GP to monitor your health.
As soon as you begin having discussions with your doctor, ask them to put you on the waiting list for your nearest gender clinic. The current waiting lists are very long, but that gives you plenty of time to give it thoughts. Plus you can change your mind at any time, and come off the waiting list if you figure out that medical transitioning isn’t for you.
TransActual have a guide to medical transition you may find helpful
6. For international students
For some international students, your home country may not be as accepting of trans identities and this can often make it difficult or even impossible to transition socially and medically. What’s important to do is. Despite this, it is possible to still transition, when studying in the UK.
University is also a great space to socially transition because you are surrounded by people and systems that will support your social transition and you can go by your new preferred name and pronouns. If you ever feel you are alone with transitioning, just remember you’re not, reach out to student networks for LGBTQ+ or international students and you can get support there.
Conclusion
If you’ve made it this far, I hope you’ve found the article useful. Undoubtedly I have not covered everything there possibly is in terms of advice for trans people, who have recently come out and early in their transition, but I think there’s very few resources (if any) that can ever cover absolutely every piece of advice on the subject. Any advice that people use during their transition comes from many different sources, created by many different people, all covering so many different trans and non-binary experiences. So I implore you to seek advice from as many different sources as possible to build up a great range of experiences to not only aid you in your transition, but to also feel more connected with your community.
Page last reviewed:
February 2025